I wanted to inform you of some of the wonderful achievements of our glorious leader and the dedicated servants in the Duma. It has been 433 since the beginning of our leader’s glorious reign and the transformation of the old capitalist empire into the most glorious state, our beloved, People’s Democratic Republic of the United States of America.
Our Glorious Leader is bringing conclusion to the work started by our forefather, Woodrow Wilson, carried heroically onward by the two Roosevelt’s and prepared for his wonderful ascension, by our Southern Comrades Carter and Clinton. Their sacrifice and bravery in the face of the terrorist proletariat uprising’s of the past, and most notorious, the despotic years of Ronald Reagan who fought to destroy our beloved comrades of the USSR, will finally be rewarded. We have only to crush, I mean persuade, the unsettled, unwashed, ignorant, stupid members of the so-called conservative patriot class of low-life tea party protestors.
Our glorious leader, who has never defiled his pure spirit by entering into the den of thieves know as capitalism, the free market, constitutional law, and most importantly, a job. He has kept himself free from the burdens of actually working to provide a living for himself by being carried forward in his rise to stardom by the powers of other great Socialist and Communist brothers. They have kept him, just the way they wanted him, pure in redistributive thought, dedicated to subjugation of the wealthy, hungry to relieve the workers of this world from the confines of that out dated constitution. An outdated constitution that was written by and exclusively for rich white men. He has kept himself for this time, this place, and this glorious revolution of hope and change.
Since assuming the reins of rulership, he has worked unselfishly, unceasingly, day and night, (with the possible and understandable break on Sundays, Saturday afternoons, basketball season, any holiday, any excuse for a road trip, nights out on the town with his wife, his children, Chief of Staff, third world dictators, purple wrist band wearers), with out a real break.
He has made the evil banks bow to his wants and that of the workers party of SEIU. He has taken the automobile industry and transformed it into a peoples company, a company of the workers union. He has allowed your money, your hard earned money to go to others that just haven’t been able to provide for themselves the finer things of life, such as cable, satellite and internet services, big screen TV’s, cell phones, expensive sneakers, the list goes on, because of the burdens of paying for homes, food and clothing.
He has used the excesses of your toil to chastise the capitalist pigs on Wall Street and put them and their obscene profits to work for the people. (It has just got to be paid back into the treasure chest of the workers party, never to be used again, well, except as the Glorious Leader sees fit.)
He has guaranteed that all future workers in the People Party will get the indoctrination; I mean education, which is their fundamental right. He has promised that they, after only serving the party for a mere 10 years, will be free to pursue some other job, in another industry, although it would only pay a pittance of what service to the party pays, if they so desire and the workers union allows it.
He has beaten the plowshares of the insurance industry into swords and in a single miraculous stroke, fundamentally changed the squalor of the American health care industry into a shinning hospital on a hill, almost as bright as that given to the world by his Majesty, Fidel Castro in the Peoples Communist Utopia of Cuba.
His has brought to us, the workers of this country, the American dream, (actually a new American Dream where we are free from the burdens of extra money and the burden imposed by it by allowing us to give it willingly through them to others).
Soon, he will give to us, 12 to 20 million new workers. Workers that will provide the Peoples Union Workers Party with new voters that will help insure the long reign of our Glorious Leader in his minions, I mean quislings, I mean jackbooted Chicago Thugs, I mean dedicated workers for you. Dedicated to spreading the wealth of the evil rich people to the downtrodden of the world, I mean country, all the while taking nothing for themselves, (with the possible small exception of their own 6 figure salaries, own health care, own retirement, own private jets, their own keys to the peoples treasure, own rules and their own way of making law.)
Just remember to pray to, I mean for, with the possible exception of in school, at work, on a public plane, train, bus, in a crowded room, busy sidewalk or even in your own car or home (you don’t want to injure your children), the Glorious Leader, his dedicated storm troopers and their transformation of the mother land. Remember, they screw the other guy, and pass the redistributed wealth on to you,( with the possible exception of the real working people of the old regime, who, although stuck in the new utopia, are actually paying for the new utopia, but being given everything they need, as long as they pay for it…never mind, just keep moving, nothing here to see…la la la, whistle, whistle)
Remember, in November, vote, vote often, vote again and always vote for those who have been in Washington for decades and no longer remember the old days of having to toil at a regular job. Keep the Ruling Elite Class Strong. Vote Incumbent, Vote Democrat, Vote RINO